Dreaming Out Loud

I rarely have normal dreams. They are either scary, where i'm about to fall off of a cliff and being chased or they are about ex boyfriends. What?! I know. What is up with that? It really ticks me off.

This morning I woke up and had the most vivid dream about my ex of almost 2 years. We broke up about 5 months before I met C, so he was the most current. Our relationship was fun, but he was very controlling. I had only just turned 17 when we started dating and I was a little more than 18 when we broke up. He was a momma's boy at best. We were always with his parents, never did anything outside of their house. It was sort of weird, now that I think about it.

I did have a lot of fun with him outside of the house though {when we got out} We rode four wheelers all the time, went to the lake in his boat, fished, hunted etc.. Lots of outdoor things that he liked to do. We never did anything I wanted to do, it was all about him and his family. I was so dumb. I went to his house after school every day at 3pm and stayed until around 8pm. I never saw my family because he didn't want to be around them. He was also extremely controlling of everything I did, wore, people I talked to.. and I let him. Once again, so dumb.

Anyway, when I had the dream last night, it was C and my 5 yr anniversary and we were having a redoing of our vows or whatever and Matt and his brother showed up at a store that was in the same building. I saw him and was speechless. He is married now too {IRL}, but I didn't care. He hugged me and told me he still thought about me all of the time and I told him the same {even though I don't IRL!} I coudlnt' go through with my 5 yr anniversary thing with C because of my "feelings" for Matt.

I woke up disgusted! Even though I truly did care about him back then, he was a butthead to be with. Why would I have that dream? Argh! It will not get out of my head right now. Go away dream!