Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Why Can't I Be Both?

Mommy vs. Good Looking Woman

About a month ago I started vigorously excercising to get toned up. Since starting the Gluten Free lifestyle, i've lost a little bit of weight and wanted to 'put it back into place', so to speak. I started to get really toned and started looking pretty good{as good as can be expected after two kids}, but I noticed that I let my responsibilities go in the process. My house started looking like a disaster and i'm not one to live in clutter. I had to reevaluate what I was doing.

It seems that if i'm focusing on the way I look, I let my mom/wife duties go down the drain and that doesn't make me happy. I do like when I feel good about myself, but it isn't worth the most important part of my life being neglected. So I ask myself, why can't I be both? I honestly and obviously don't know the answer to that question or I already would be.

For some reason, my mindset changes when I start getting in shape. I start wanting new clothes, my hair done, nails done, new makeup, etc.. That's not me{granted it would be nice, but i've never been that person}. I'm perfectly content sitting around the house in my pj's, hair thrown up in a messy pony, and playing with the girls. So for me, it seems that the choice is either..or.

Still no definite answer, but it'll be something I continue to ponder and work on.


val September 22, 2009 at 12:12 PM  

i know EXACTLY what you mean.

everyone has always told me that if i would get up in the mornings and do my hair and makeup i'd feel better about starting my day (and cleaning house, and blah, blah)...

it does make me feel good about starting my day - OUT of the house. after i get all "prettied" the last thing i wanna do is sit on the couch and fold laundry... lol!

as for working out... well, it makes me feel 200% better, both physically and mentally... but i'm usually pretty hyper for a while right after i work out which brings me back to the aforementioned prob... i don't feel as motivated to "run around" and clean house as i do to GET OUT and shop or something!!

it's a hard balance to get right... but i've also found that it's kinda impossible for me to live one way without the other too...

and remember - there's NOTHING wrong with wanting to feel pretty and spending time on yourself... it's the least you deserve - SAHMs get burned out too sooner or later!

Kelly September 22, 2009 at 1:01 PM  

I totally know what you mean. I still havent figured it out either!

Leah September 22, 2009 at 2:44 PM  

I think you can be both!!! I know for me, exercise is very important and is MY time of the day and makes me feel better about myself, which I think in turn makes me a better mother and wife. I don't think a spotless home is the most important thing in life, and it is important for you to do something for yourself and feel good about yourself!! I also think your health and happiness should take priority over a picked up house. Exercise doesn't have to be every day either,and that way you can exercise some days and pick up the house the others!

*Kc* September 22, 2009 at 2:55 PM  

Oh Leah I didn't mean just my house is my top priority. I just feel like I start losing track of everything because I want to look good. Ugh! It makes me so mad, but I totally know what you mean. It is "my" time too and I loved it. I always felt better about myself too.

JenFen September 22, 2009 at 3:45 PM  

First of all you are both - you are a beautiful woman and a wonderful wife and mother. You just have to adjust your expectations a little bit. I do understand where you are coming from and I am going through something similar. I watch what I eat and I work out consistently but I am still not exactly where I would like to be BUT in order to get there I would have to devote more time than I am willing because I have to balance my other responsibilities at home and I want to spend quality time with my family. It's a balancing act and finding the balance that works best for you isn't easy, but its worth every attempt. You should never feel guilty for wanting to look your best, for wanting things for yourself or wanting time to yourself. We all deserve that to the extent that it is reasonable and even if it is not reasonable, it doesn't mean you can't dream a little. I still get my hair highlighted every 8-10 weeks but I gave up manicures/pedicures and department store clothes and make-up as that was the compromise I felt most comfortable with for me and my family.

You can do it KC - but don't give up and don't ever think you are alone.

Leah September 23, 2009 at 7:13 AM  

Ahh gotcha, guess I didn't read the post fully or thoroughly enough, oops! i just jumped to answer too quickly haha. Sorry about that, and definitely wasn't trying to jump on you about it :) Just saying, you are beautiful already and a wonderful mother (from what I can see :) ) but that exercise is a time for you to escape from the day and do something for yourself!

Amy September 23, 2009 at 3:23 PM  

Amen! I feel like it is either. or.
I totally relate to wanting to buy more, do more, etc. when I am physically where I want to be. Before having a baby I used to shop weekly (at least) and never wore the same thing twice...now that I am not exactly thrilled with my post-baby body...I haven't shopped in months! Plus, I would much rather spend that time, energy, and money on my sweet baby girl! ;)

*Kc* September 23, 2009 at 3:55 PM  

Thank you Jen. i always love to hear from you! You give me so much insight. I hope you work your issues out as well.

Leah it's okay!! LOL! I knew what you meant. I totally made it to the park to walk 3 laps today..yay!

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